Written by Selina Nyugen

We’re over the halfway point of 2024 and there is a clear change in the air when it comes to dating and meeting new people. Dating in 2024 is no joke. We’re sifting through situationships, we’re going to therapy and we’re redefining modern relationships. Despite this self-growth era, there are a handful of challenges that keep rearing its head which I notice both inside and outside of my therapy room. 

​​Many folks are disillusioned with the culture on popular dating apps, which can be rife with ghosting, performative profiles and fish pics. Dating apps are becoming graveyards full of the ghosts of unfinished conversations and unread messages.

 What’s happening alongside this is what’s being referred to as “low-effort dating”, which is exactly what it sounds like where folks are putting minimal effort into planning dates, building connections and having open communication. This culture of ghosting and situationships means many folks are avoiding and not learning important skills required in dating, for example, communicating what we want or how to have disagreements.

More than ever, we’re also consuming content about what romantic or sexual relationships should look like. We’re continually being fed messages about how easy and natural it should feel as we’re being exposed to everyone’s highlight reels on social media. This kind of relationship porn can create confusing or unrealistic expectations about dating and contribute towards a Grass is Greener Syndrome, which refers to this pervasive thinking that a better relationship is always somewhere out there. The reality is that the grass is greener where you water it and when you learn to communicate.

Amongst all of this, the most common challenge many folks are facing off with is overall dating fatigue. In the midst of a cost of living crisis, the apps and situationship-land, many people are understandably exhausted, and some even choosing abstinence or to opt out of dating entirely in order to protect their peace. There’s a real craving for change.

Gone are the days of playing hard to get and waiting the appropriate amount of time before texting back, many of us are seeing past a lot of these made-up dating rules and expectations, and instead we’re longing for something different. All of these changes and challenges in modern dating are really asking us to dig deep into what we want from our relationships and figure out what stands in the way of creating exactly that. There is more fluidity and freedom than ever when it comes to relationship structures, sexual orientations and romantic expectations. We have the opportunity now to reclaim dating and make it whatever we want it to be by adapting how we play the game. If we so choose, we can strip it all back and re-make it into something real, expansive, playful and pleasurable. 

Enter Love Club. 

Love Club is a queer organisation founded by a sex therapist and sex educator duo. Through our work and our passions, we found a dire need for juicy and playful events that celebrate all identities, bodies, sexualities and connections and so we decided to create them. This includes our iconic queer speed dating event called Quickies, and consent workshops and sex ed trivia to come! At our queer speed dating events, we encourage folks to dream outside of the boxes to make the most of their dating experience. Whether it be a romantic date or someone to thrift with or go to sex parties with, the limit is your imagination and shared consent.